Genealogy the other way around? Unthinkable?!
from Monika (P2)
Of course, it is not foreign to a female being who grew up in the anti-authoritarian system of post-war Germany, which called everything into question, that genealogy could also be seen in a completely different way. After all, there have been encounters with matriarchs while traveling. But these were exotic speculations that had absolutely nothing to do with our patriarchal principles, which have so far remained untouched – despite the new legal naming rights. Or so I thought (!) until we set off on a mission to Bolivia to finally get to know the descendants of our South American relatives! You are handed a business card and realize that the donor uses the grandmother’s name. The venerable pedigree is shaking! The sympathetic counterpart really makes you wonder. After all, an ancient Roman would not have been irritated by this at all, he would have referred to his legal code, according to which the mother is always certain of descent, but the father? The English translate this nonchalantly: “Mother’s baby, father’s maybe”.
Nothing to say against it? That really “worries” me! Doesn’t that also mean that women are accused of foisting cuckoo children on men? It is said that nothing human is alien to us – but in our case? “Faithful and steadfast” is the motto of the von Borries family. That also applies to us women! Would it be conceivable that a well-educated noblewoman (we don’t marry anything else in the first place!) would do such a thing to her married von Borries?
Would it be conceivable that Agnes Wilhelmine Lodtmann, the wife of Theodor Heinrich (L 65) (may she forgive me!) would have laid a cuckoo in the cradle of our ancestor of the Bolivian Bor-ries clan? Caramba! What consequences for our journey! We kissed almost 200 Borries who weren’t actually Borries! I can reassure you, even if that had been the case – fortunately her mother was a <born> von Borries!!!
Sorry for my supposedly naughty thoughts, but unfortunately I have to confront you with this topic in case you thought you could lie back and rest on your Gotha. In our case, it’s not just about the new naming law, which is already confusing enough for the aristocratic associations, there are far more name bearers outside Germany who, incidentally, are incredibly likeable, usually very pretty and enormously “tough”! My respect for the Borries women has grown enormously, because it is the daughters and wives by marriage who hold the families together.
Let’s start with Melita, who has not only rendered outstanding services to the German family association, but as a citizen of the world has kept in touch with the Americans and South Americans, which becomes particularly clear to us on the trip. People keep asking about her and Bettina, and we are given greetings and small gifts.
It’s Evi who is spinning the genealogy everywhere in Brazil and Bolivia, asking questions, providing information, making notes and keeping Klaus on his toes to photograph each individual. A Sisyphean task that never ends because we are constantly comparing our experiences and knowledge during the breaks. We, Detlof and I, feel like family newbies – that’s how much we benefit from Evi’s knowledge.
And in Brazil? It is Ilka, whom we already know from the last family day, who lovingly takes us in her arms in Sao Paulo and pampers us until we get used to the climate, which is not only warm on the outside. She is the one who looks after the Borries family in Brazil, organizes, collects pictures and documents and invites us to her home so that we can get to know each other. (Wedigo, Ullla, the sons and daughters-in-law)
And who of the 52 participating Borries is queuing up in front of Evi’s pinned-up genealogy at the family day in Santa Cruz, Bolivia? It’s the women who are looking for ancestors and are storming around Evi. The men stand a little more aloof, chatting behind them and then let themselves be informed.
After Sucre, it is Betty who accompanies us. Together with her, we visit the memorial to her daughter, the murdered Monica von Borries, my namesake. This day marks the 9th anniversary of her death. I remember this event very well because some friends called us cautiously to ask if I was at home. For the family, Betty and the noble father Jorge, the Chief Justice, who receives us in his Palace of Justice behind a huge desk, the loss is very painful. Nevertheless, we should be proud of this heroine who, as a public prosecutor, had the courage to defy the mafia.
It is Cousin Rosario’s family who welcome us at Cochabamba airport – with a coat of arms and roses. There is no doubt that a real patrona is at work here, who knows exactly how to organize a family and even more so a family day – right down to the flowery name badges and coat of arms pins for the lapels. Not even the smallest Borries is out of the ordinary, everyone has their role. We are not the only ones who immediately feel accepted and welcome in this family. As precise as clockwork, the family members work together in the festive process, unobtrusive, practiced, absolutely stylish. This may have been the way things used to be in our German families, we think with respect (congratulations to Oskar for his lucky choice when he got married, see above).
A noble couple welcomes us in La Paz – one that you have already met in Zons: Anna Maria and Ramiro! Anna Maria, a picture-book lady, very good-looking, elegant and warm, is a center of attraction for the family in La Paz and discreetly rules an extended family with four highly successful children and 9 grandchildren with overwhelming charm. Of course, this also includes other extremely lovely women, such as Theresa, the wife of Oskar, who visited us in Heidelberg, was at the 100th Family Day in Niefernheim and who has sadly passed away. We were very touched to meet his wonderful children: Stefan as co-organizer in Santa Cruz, Katharina, who lovingly took care of us, with her three very, very cute daughters (with whom we immediately fell in love) and even Jürgen (who was also at the last Family Day) accompanied us from faraway Georgia, where he surprised us with dinner invitations and gifts.
I wanted to praise Borries’ matriarchy with weighty words and therefore sometimes – with a heavy heart – kept the “half of heaven” from you (genealogical the other way around). But I must make one exception: Raoul and Alissa! Without Raoul, this trip would not have come about and we can be very grateful to him for his weeks of commitment and to Alissa for the fact that she is still sitting on Unau’s packed boxes in her pretty house!
We hope we have been able to do a little to help unveil the “terra incog-nita Borries-Bolivia” and encourage you all on both sides to get to know each other. There are so many wonderful people to discover that I am very grateful for these encounters and for being part of such a wonderful family.